ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
