i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
