This dress was meant to end up on your floor
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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