just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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