omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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