i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
