Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
