are you so shy because you have an std?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
