The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize