I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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