she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
