Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
