Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
