No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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