Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
