I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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