this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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