if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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