just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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