She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
