The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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