Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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