I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
