i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
