she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
