did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
