They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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