Im at strip club and am horny
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
