Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
