Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
