how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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