And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It's never too late to be topless.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
