why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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