Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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