jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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