I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
