So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
