People in love make me want to vomit
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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