He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
