should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im holly from the hills drunk
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
