That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
