i would punch a child for taco bell
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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