check it out our google latitudes are spooning
that's an acceptable place to lick
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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