Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
