Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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