ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
