I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
