Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
