When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
