My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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