Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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