I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
